i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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