i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
