I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
