drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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