summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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