3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
