And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
