Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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