lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
