I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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