Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
