We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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