Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
