the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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