well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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