We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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