How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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