It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
