Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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