Just fell off a train. Bad.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
