I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
