Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
