the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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