Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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