i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
