On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
