THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
as a side note pls kill me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
