i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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