the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
