i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
