My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
