So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
