So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
