i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
