So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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