Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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