"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
