i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
