I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
