Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
