just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
