she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
