My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
