the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
