FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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