i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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