What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
