I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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