i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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