she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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