the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
