your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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