That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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