I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
