and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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